A light through the darkness
by Mallory83
Summary: One shot- Rose is lost is found by Alice who brings her back to Forks where the family shows her she can live again. All twilight charectors are human...all VA charectors are as is in book. Charectors are somewhat OOC.


I had done it. I had killed my lover Dimitri Belikov. I stood over his body as hot tears streamed down my face. I had no idea how long I stood there for, but soon the hints of daylight started shining on the horizon. The sky turned to brilliant pinks and orange. I still didn't move. I would watch the sun burn his body into fine dust and let it be blown away by the wind. Then I would know it was really over.

It reminded me of one of his rules…never turn your back until you know the enemy is dead. So I stood there and watched at the first rays of light hit his body and he began burn. It didn't take long before it was over. My Dimitri was no more. I had freed him from the monster he was and gave him peace.

I was numb. I was unfeeling. I had nothing left to go on for. There was no way I would be an adequate guardian with my pain. I wouldn't care if I lived or died. It didn't matter anymore. Lissa would understand. She would get the best guardians around. She was the last Dragomir so I wasn't worried about that.

I let one more tear fall from my eyes before I took a deep breath desperate to move on and find some peace in my life. I leaned over and picked up the cloths that Dimitri had been wearing. Maybe his mother would like them. I could send them back to her letting her know he was at peace. It was the least I could do for them. They had been so kind and wonderful to me. They accepted me without question. The fact I loved Dimitri was all that mattered.

Something fell out of his pants. I looked down seeing his wallet. I bent over and picked it up rubbing it between my hands as flashes of the life we once had ran behind my closed eyes. Everything we were played out like a movie. From the time he found Lissa and me in Portland to watching as Nathan pulled him down and made him one of them. The most hurtful memory of all was remembering the gentle touches and the way he would kiss me. The way he held me as we made love. He was so gentle. He gave me all of his love and I gave him mine. I gave him everything and now, now I had nothing.

I started walking down the road, lost in memories. I was hurt and hungry and tired and wishing with everything I had that I would die to. I don't know how long I walked for before a car pulled off to the side of the road. I didn't look up I just kept walking. "Hey," I heard from behind me. "You need a ride or something?"

I finally turned around. I don't know how I looked, but it must have been bad because a short little thing that looked like a pixie pranced over to me concern all over her face. "Yes, you need to come with me. I know who can help you."

I just looked at her and nodded. I really didn't care what happened to me anymore. My life was over so I went with this overly perky pixie. "My name is Alice by the way."

"Rose," I said with no feeling. I didn't even look at her.

"Well Rose, it's good to meet you. And you know Dimitri is happy now. This is what he wanted you to do."

Something clicked when she said this. I realized one, I was in Russia and she was speaking perfect English with an American accent and two she knew what happened.

"Who sent you?" I asked getting nervous that someone from back home was looking for me again. I could not handle that. I would not handle that. I had made up my mind that I was never going back and that was that.

"No one sent me. I saw you needed me so I came."

"What do you mean?"

Alice sighed over at me. "There is a lot about this world of ours that you don't know about Rose. And I will tell you all about it, but first I need to get you some food and sleep and then we have a plane to catch. It's going to be a long flight back to Washington."

"Washington? What's in Washington?" I asked. Pictures of Spokane flashed in my head only fueling the loss that I felt. Mason dead on the floor because he had come back to save me. Yet another death on my hands that wasn't disserved. The guilt was becoming debilitating.

"Forks is in Washington and so is our family."

My head was beginning to ache and I was getting more and more confused by the minute. Normally I don't have that problem so I figured I must have a concussion if I couldn't even follow what this weird person was saying to me. I mean what the hell is Forks Washington and what did she mean by our family? And she knew about Dimitri…how could she have known what I had done? No one was there. No one saw me do it. I had so many questions, but right now I just wanted to sleep.

I vaguely recall being dragged through the airport and getting on a plane. Alice's hand never left mine as we made our way to our gate. I was in a haze of pain, guilt and grief. I didn't know this girl from Adam and here I was getting on a plane with her. She could be leading me into a Strigoi trap. Of course I don't think I would have cared much at that point, so long as they killed me and didn't change me. Of course the way things were going in my life that's exactly what they would do. They would change me into one of them and I would be stuck as a monster until the end of days.

Just as we took off Alive leaned over and placed her hand on mine. "You will be okay. But I think we should talk."

I looked over at her and saw sorrow in her eyes. I didn't know if she had her own demons or if the sorrow was for mine. I really didn't want to talk, but I figured I had questions and she had answers and the only way to get the answers to my questions would be to talk.

"How do you me and how do you know about Dimitri?" I asked.

"That's easy," she said with a small smile. "I'm a clairvoyant. Once you decided to kill Dimitri, I saw you coming to our lives. And when I saw how you looked in my vision I had to come to you. It would have taken much too long for you to find us. And you would have, so I just came to you." Alice nodded her head at me waiting for another question.

"So what are you…human, vampire or other? I can tell you are not Dhampir, but somehow you seem to know all about my world."

"Human," she smiled.

"So how do you know so much about us?"

"Let's just say that my family has had a run in with those that you kill to protect the ones you love."

I just looked at her and wanted to laugh. "Okay and what did you mean, by our family? When you said we were going to Forks…whatever that is, you said and our family."

"Well you should have been able to figure that out. It's just what it means. We are going to our family. I mean you need to meet them since you are going to be part of this family now."

"That's where you're wrong. The only family I ever had is in Montana and I don't think they want me back now and I can't go back even if they did."

"Rose, if they really were your family, they would take you back. I just don't see you going back right now. I mean eventually you could change your mind, but right now you're pretty set on your path."

"So, what am I supposed to do in Forks?"

Alice grinned and actually started jumping up and down. Craziest human I have ever seen. Freaky little pixie.

"Well, for one, you are going to enroll at Forks high school and start over. It's just what you need and then we are going to heal your heart."

I sucked in a deep breath. I missed Lissa so much that it hurt. Alice didn't know anything about how Lissa was the only one who could heal me. Of course I don't think she could heal this hurt. Her magic could only go so far. God, I missed her. I wanted to get lost and go to her. Just for a moment get into her head and make sure she would be okay, but I knew that would only make the pain worse. When I left her at the academy that was my goodbye.

I needed a distraction; something to take the memories away, even if it was just for a short time. "So, tell me about you and your family." I really didn't care much. I didn't even know if I would stay, but it was the closest thing to a distraction I could get.

Alice smiled the most breathtaking smile I had ever seen. It made me look at her for the first time, really look at her. She was short and pale and really did look like a pixie. Her hair was cut short and it spiked out in all directions. It really suited her. She had the most amazing golden eyes. They reminded me of amber and sunshine. She had a little pointy nose and soft lips. She was perfect. I finally realized that she was talking and I wasn't hearing a word she was saying. "Sorry, what?" I asked. She just smiled and started over.

"Well, I guess we should start with me. I'm seventeen and a junior. You know I'm clairvoyant. I live with my brothers and sister and my parents Esme and Carlisle. Emmett is huge. I think you guys will get along great once he meets you. You might give him a run for his money when it comes to fighting. He's always up for a challenge and I sense you are too. Then there is Edward. He is the emo artist of the family. He has a huge heart and is loyal as all hell, but he could smile a little more. Of course having Bella around, he is doing a lot better than normal. In fact right now I think Emmett is giving him a run for his money on the emo department. Jasper is quiet and a little skittish. He and I have been together for ever now. He is loyal as Edward is and he is really good at picking up on people's emotions. Bella is with Edward. She lives with her dad. But we love her to death, hence the reason I call her my sister. She is a complete klutz. Trouble follows her wherever she goes. She's a little shy, but she is so lovable. I think you will love her. Then there are my parents, Esme loves architecture and works from home and Carlisle is a doctor at the town's hospital. They are the most amazing parents in the world. They are going to love you."

I think I missed most of what she said. But I nodded my head to show her I was at least somewhat paying attention. All I really wanted to do was die. I didn't want to start my life over and I didn't want to heal and move on. I didn't want to be happy again. I didn't even want to breathe. I just wanted to curl up and die. My life ended when Dimitri ceased to exist. I stopped feeling, I stopped caring, I stopped dreaming, I stopped everything. I was just a shell of the person I used to be. There was no hope for me and mostly because I didn't want there to be hope.

Alice left me alone after that to rest and just be. I actually appreciated it, because that is exactly what I needed. I just needed to be left alone.

At some point I must have fallen asleep because a familiar scene started to take place around me. A beautiful garden, Adrian's grandmother's garden. I looked down and saw I was wearing a yellow sun dress and no shoes. My hair was down and flowing in the wind. And then the pain was back. Stabbing in my chest so hard that I thought that it alone would kill me. I didn't know if I could go on if I saw him. I couldn't survive any more pain. Tears sprang to my eyes and I tried to blink them back with no avail. Then I heard his silky voice. "Little Dhampir, where have you been?"

I turned around slowly. Knowing that when I saw him the pain would surly kill me. "We haven't been able to feel you. And I haven't been able to get into your dreams." Adrian stopped and looked at me. "You did it." It wasn't a question, more of a statement. I nodded at him and fell to my knees. It was too hard. The pain was too much. I kept waiting for death to come. Tears spilled out of my eyes as I shook violently on the ground. Adrian rushed to my side and pulled me close. He kissed my head and ran his fingers through my hair. "Rose, you need to come home now. You have done what you left to do, now come back to us. We need you."

I shook my head and pulled away from him. He would never understand if he knew the truth. He would never be able to look at me again. None of them would. I didn't belong there anymore. "I can't," I said trying to gasp for air. "I don't belong there anymore. You are all better off without me."

Adrian pulled me back to him. "You do belong here. Rose we love you and need you to come back. Everything is just all wrong without you. And you made me a promise. You have to come back because the Rose I know keeps her promises."

"I'm sorry Adrian. I will pay you back one way or another. And I love you all so much, but if you knew, you couldn't love me. You wouldn't want me." The tears poured out of my eyes. I was having a hard time breathing. I needed to get out.

"Rose, what the hell happened to you? Tell me where you are and I will come to you. If you don't want to come home that's fine. We can come to you. We will all come. Just tell me where you are."

I shook my head and kissed him goodbye. "I love you all so much. Please forgive me."

"Son of a Bitch Rose, don't-"

I didn't even hear the end of what he said. I didn't let him say goodbye. I didn't give him what I had promised. I just pulled myself out of my dream feeling even emptier than I had before. Now I had no choice, but to go with Alice and figure something out. At least I had a place to stay until I could.

Alice was rubbing my hand when I woke up and giving me a sad smile. She reached over and wiped my cheek. "It will get better."

"No, I don't think it will." I let the tears fall. I guess it was my way of giving up. I was giving up on my family, on being a guardian, on being in love, of being happy, of ever living again. I was giving up on everything.

I just stared out the window for the rest of the flight. I didn't pay attention to our layovers or where we were going. I just allowed Alice to drag me from plane to plane until finally we were landing in Seattle.

"Are you ready?" Alice asked as we got off the plane. "Everyone is here to meet you."

I looked over at her not sure if I should strangle her now or wait until we were someplace less confined. There was no way in hell I was ready to meet her family. Hell I didn't know if I would ever be ready to meet her family, but in an airport. Shit, I was going to kill her.

"What do you mean by everyone?" I asked trying to pull off like I wasn't mad.

"Ummm…just what I said. Everyone is here. The entire family."

"Well," I said. "Let's get this over with then."

We walked out to baggage claim when I heard Alice squeal. Yes, she squealed and took off running off towards a large group of people and hurdled herself into the arms of a tall blonde. I could only assume that it was Jasper…I think that's what his name was. It was nearing midnight I couldn't be held responsible for not remembering names. I didn't even really care if I ever remembered them.

I stood about five feet away from the welcoming party and just watched them and my surroundings. It was dark and I didn't know the area. I wasn't sick to my stomach, so I was sure there were no Strigoi around, but I had trained my entire life and would never let my guard down. My eyes darted all around me taking everything in before finally returning to the people standing in front of me.

Alice walked back over to me and grabbed my hand. "Don't be shy Rose. They can't wait to meet you." I looked over at the people now standing right in front of me. I couldn't even smile back at the faces beaming back at me. Well all except on that looked like a bear. That must have been …Emmett?

"Yes, that is Emmett. And your right, he does look like a bear." I looked over at a tall slender boy that looked like he was chiseled from stone. He had bronze hair that looked as though he had climbed out of bed and didn't bother to run a comb through it, but it suited him. He had the same golden eyes as Alice. In fact they all had the same golden eyes. They were breathtaking. "Thank you," the boy said again.

I took a hesitant step back. I couldn't understand how he was answering unspoken questions. All of the sudden a wave of calm swept over me. I had no idea what was going on, but it was really freaky.

"It's not that freaky. Eventually you will get used to it. I'm Edward by the way and this is Bella." A small girl that looked like I could break her like a twig smiled at me and stuck out her hand which I hesitantly took. Edward started laughing. "You have really got to stop doing that," I said looking back at him. It was the first thing I had said since meeting them and my own voice surprised me at how dead it sounded.

Another woman untangled herself from a blond man and came up and gave me a hug. I stiffened for a moment and then relaxed a little once another wave of calm washed over me. "I'm Esme," she said. "We are so glad you came to us. I hope that you can feel at home here." I just nodded as she returned to who I was assuming was her husband. "I'm Carlisle," he said. "Welcome to Washington. I hope that you like it."

"Thank you," I said and again was surprised by the sound of my voice.

"Well, let's not just stand here," Esme said. "Do you have any bags?"

"No, I left everything in Russia."

"Okay then, let's get you home shall we?"

I turned and followed these people to what I assumed would be my new life. Right now I just had no idea.

It took several hours to get to Forks. It was dark and raining and looked miserable; even worse than Montana. Jasper drove and Alice held onto his hand and chattered with him the entire time. I was beginning to think she was the fucking energizer bunny or some shit. After our flight you would think she would be dead on her feet and I'm pretty sure she didn't sleep the entire time.

Emmett sat next to me watching me the entire time. I'm not so sure he even blinked. He was making me feel very uncomfortable, but every now and then I would just feel calm and relaxed for no reason. That was really trippy. I was crazy emotions one minute and the next calm and relaxed. I wonder if Jasper had something to do with it. Alice said something about emotions or whatever.

We got to the house and Alice drug me up to the third floor of the massive house I would be living in now. She opened the door to one of the rooms and led me in. "Well, this is it," she said. "Bathroom is through that door, its private and closet of course is over there fully stocked and if you need anything just let one of us know. Tomorrow we will get you registered for school and things will start to get better."

I nodded and Alice left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. After sitting for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do next, I settled on taking a shower. I let the hot water fun over my sore muscles and the tears run down my cheeks. I sunk to the shower floor and pulled my knees up to my chest. How could I have become so broken in such a short about of time? I was happy and in love and knew what I wanted in life and knew how to get it and now…now I didn't know up from down. I had no friends, no family, no money, no job, no cloths and worst of all I didn't have Dimitri.

Flashes of him ran through my head again and I rubbed my fists into my eyes hoping that I could dig the images of him out of my head. Sobs caught in my throat and I could no longer hold them in. I could no longer keep the pain in. It was like someone opened a bottle of pop after shaking it up. It spewed from deep within my soul. I rocked back and forth as the terrifying screams escaped my lips.

"God make it stop," I screamed. "I can't do it. I can't live on. Just make it stop. I need you to take me to God. For once just listen and make this stop. Take the pain away." Another screaming sob escaped me and I suddenly felt queasy. The world started spinning and I was seeing spots in front of my vision. I stood up trying to get to the toilet before I threw up, but that just made the spinning worse. Maybe this was it. God was finally listening to me and I was being taken from this world. I felt a small smile cross my lips as the world started going black.

"Rose." I heard someone yell. The last thing I felt was a pair of strong arms.

I awoke the next day to bright lights shining through the window of the room. I was laying on the most comfortable king sized bed covered in a down comforter. I stretched out enjoying the comfort trying to remember where I was. It only took about half a second because the second I closed my eyes flashes of the past forty eight hours came rushing back to me.

_"Roza," Dimitri's voice caressed my skin like silk and poison at the same time. "You will never win this. If you were going to kill me, you would have done it by now." The way he smiled at me made me want to be sick. It was no longer filled with the love it once held, but filled with evil and the blood of the innocent people he had taken it from. "Roza, don't fight it. You will join me, whether it is by choice or by force. How you want this done is up to you." I didn't say a word to him. I just nodded. He had to think I was going to join him by choice. What he didn't know was that I had a stake and as soon as I got the chance, he would be dead._

_ "Roza love, you are making the right choice. I would so hate to hurt you."_

_I felt the tears well up in my eyes. My Dimitri would never hurt me. He wouldn't even threaten it. He was not my Dimitri. Remember that Rose, he is no longer your Dimitri._

"_I don't want to fight you anymore. It's cold out here and I just want to love you," I said trying to sound convincing. I had never been able to lie to him. _

_ He gave me a long look before grinning. I must have been more convincing than I thought. "Come to me Roza. I will make your dreams come true."_

_ I walked over to him and gave him a sad smile. He pulled me into a hug and I took one last deep breath of his sent trying to memorize it. Lock it away to have with me forever. "I'll love you forever Dimitri," I said. And then I grabbed my stake and shoved it through his heart._

_ I cried out and he fell to his knees. He looked up at me and for a small moment his eyes were the same beautiful brown I remembered them to be only weeks ago. His features softened and he smiled. "I'll love you forever my Roza." Those were the last words he spoke before he fell forward and the life left his body forever._

The tears escaped my eyes as the sobs escaped my lips. I let out a scream filled with all the agony I felt. He was gone. My Dimitri was gone and he was never coming back. I had left my friends and family and I could never go back and now I was with the Cullen's in Forks Washington.

I didn't know what was happening to me. What happened to the kick ass Rose that didn't let her emotions get to her? What happened to the girl that could take anything? I needed her back if I was going to survive. I needed her back to get through this.

I didn't know I was hyperventilating until Carlisle came running into the room. "Rose, you need to calm down and take deep breaths. Can you do that for me?"

I looked up at him unable to control the tears. I couldn't breathe and I was starting to see black spots in my vision. My world was at an end. My life was coming to an end. How was I going to get through this? I just wanted to die. I wanted my world to end with Dimitri.

I don't know how, but I suddenly was calm and able to catch my breath. I looked around the room and saw I had quite an audience to my mental break down. Jasper, Alice, Carlisle, and Emmett were all standing around me concern etched in their faces, all but Emmett. It was like he understood my pain. I saw the sorrow and his eyes were distant like he was remembering something else entirely. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I don't know what it was but the sorrow I saw in his eyes made me wonder if he knew how I felt.

I saw Alice look over at Jasper with a hint of a smile on her lips. I looked over at her wondering what she had seen in the freaky mind of hers. But something told me that I didn't want to know.

"Are you going to be ready to go to school? We need to go soon," Alice said coming to my side.

I shook my head. "I don't think I'm going to go. I need to just stay low and I don't know maybe I could find a job or something."

Alice sighed and gave me a small frown as she sat on my bed. I noticed then the others took their leave without another word. "Rose," she said bringing my attention back to her. "I know you have been through a lot recently and I really am sorry. No one should have to go through the pain you have, but unfortunately it happens more often than we like." Her eyes became lost for a moment filled with sorrow and pain that I assume was her own. The same pain I saw in Emmett's eyes. "But you need to keep living even though Dimitri isn't. He wouldn't want this for you Rose. He would want you to be happy again. I know it seems like you will never live through this and that the world has caved in around you, but trust me when I tell you that it will get better. You will never forget him or the pain of losing him, but you will learn to live again and the pain won't be so much. And one day you will love again. But if you don't start living you will never make it out. You will bury yourself in the sorrow and pain and it will eat you alive. I don't want that to happen to you, none of us do. And I know that Dimitri especially wouldn't. He would never want to see you in pain Rose. So you need to do this for him. Do this for his memory. Live the way he would have wanted you to when he was alive. He loved you so much."

The tears started falling from my eyes again. This little pixie that I had only known a few short days was so right. I couldn't keep living like this. I didn't think I would ever get over the pain or learn to love again. I didn't think I would ever be hole again, but I had to live on for Dimitri. He would be the reason I go on.

I did start school and actually started to like this tiny town of Forks. It was one of those towns that everyone knows your name and everything about you. I'm pretty sure it was smaller than  
St. Vladimir's academy, but it was too close to really tell. Alice, Bella and I were becoming really close. They would never take the place of Lissa, but they were up there. I tried not to think of my friends back at the academy. I kept my mental barriers in my head up and tight. I hadn't seen Adrian since the day on the plane and I hadn't slipped into Lissa's head since I left the academy. My heart ached for them, but I knew I couldn't go back. I kept up on my training running every morning and giving Edward and Jasper a run for their money. I usually kicked their asses but every now and then they would gang up on me and actually catch me off guard. I had fun using them as training dummies and Alice and Bella thought it was funny to see them both on their butts. Edward was thrilled when I asked him about music and even started to teach me to play the piano a little. I loved it. It was not anything I thought I would want to know, but I did and Edward took it upon himself to teach me, but I had to promise to take a music course next fall.

I had been in Forks for a few months and graduation was only a few days away now. It was bittersweet to say the least. I was sad that I would not be getting my promise mark and guarding Lissa like we had planned since kindergarten, but I was happy because I was free to make my own choices. Something I never had before. The pain was still very much there, but I wasn't drowning in it. I even smiled the other day. Not one of my fake plastered on smiles, but a genuine smile. Of course when I realized that I did, the guilt nearly consumed me. How could I smile when Dimitri was dead? I know it's what he would want, but still…it hurt so much.

Emmett, Jasper and I had all been accepted into the University of Washington next fall and I was really excited. Alice, Edward and Bella still had another year of school, but they were all applying for UW as well. I was pretty sure with their grades there would not be a problem.

It was the last day of classes when I felt something slam into my stomach. It was the worst feeling I had felt in a long time. Lissa was upset and her emotions were so strong that I was having a hard time keeping my blocks up. I couldn't allow myself to give in. I couldn't see them. The pain would be unbearable. A part of me wanted to just drop them and find out why Lissa's emotions were so erratic, but I just couldn't risk it. I needed them to stay in place.

By the end of my last period the pain was almost unbearable. I had never worked so hard to keep the barriers in place. I needed to get out of there. I didn't need to be sucked into Lissa's head in front of my entire class. I hadn't even stepped a foot out of the door when Alice grabbed me. She looked panicked and I knew she finally saw what was coming. "We need to get you out of here," she said running in the direction of the parking lot.

Emmett was at the end of the hall waiting for us. When he saw Alice running down the hall I saw his face turn from ease to panic. He ran over to us and Alice shoved me to him. "Get her home," she said. "I'll find the others and meet you there. Do not let her get distracted." Emmett nodded. He knew better than to ask questions when Alice goes into crazy mode.

Emmett grabbed me around the waist and pulled me out the doors trying to get me out of there as quickly as possible. We were only half way across the quad when everything started going black. The last of my walls were crumbling away and I was being sucked in. We weren't going to make it. "Emmett," I said before the world faded away.

_"She should be here," Lissa cried out. "She's my guardian, my best friend, my sister. She's all I have Christian. She should be here."_

_My heart broke hearing those words coming out of here mouth and feeling the pain that radiated through here. It was blinding and ripped through me like a thousand knives._

_ "Liss, I know you miss her," Christian said as he combed his hand through his hair. "Hell I even miss her, but no one can find her. Not Adrian, not the guardians, no one. It's been months since Adrian has been in here head, the guardians have searched the world for her and there are just no signs of her." He pulled Lissa closer to him and ran his fingers through her golden hair and kissed her head. "Liss, she may not even be alive. We just don't know."_

_ Lissa sobbed heart-wrenching sobs into Christian's shirt. "NO!" Lissa screamed. "She is NOT dead. I can't believe that. I would know if she was dead. I would feel it. We are bonded. It may only be one way, but we are and I would know. I would know Christian. She can't be dead. God tell me she isn't dead."_

_ My heart sunk for the pain I was causing my best friend. How could I be so selfish? I was actually happy in Washington. I finished school, was going to college, had found a new family that loved me and I loved them. Even if Emmett was a work in progress, he was still loyal as hell. I just hoped the entire time that they were moving on as well. I hoped with all my might that Lissa would be okay. How could I do this to her? I wanted to cry out as the pain hit me again. No wonder I couldn't keep the blocks up. Lissa's pain for my loss was as bad as the pain she felt when she lost her family in the accident._

_ "Lissa, if she is out there we will find her. You just need to worry about graduation and getting you and Eddie to school in the fall. I promise I am going to find a way to find her…no matter the outcome."_

_ Lissa's sobs quieted as did her emotions. I needed to get out now. I couldn't handle anymore. I felt like my heart had been pulled out of my chest and stomped on. I concentrated all the energy I had left on my own mind, my body, my soul and pulled as hard as I could. _

My eyes fluttered open and I found that I was laying on the ground with a lot of eyes looking down at me. "Shit," I muttered. "Told you so," Alice sang in her soprano voice. Edward looked pained and I knew that instant that he had seen what happened. I gave him a sad grin, but he just shook his head and gave me the "we are going to talk later" look. Emmett and Bella looked freaked and Jasper just smiled and nodded. Of course then there was the other fifty faces that were staring down at me. "God damn people, take a fucking picture it will last longer." I tried to sit up, but was held down. "Don't move Hun, the ambulance is on the way.

"What?" I screeched. "Why did you call the ambulance?"

"Rose, you passed out." Mr. Banner said. "And from what people sad, you hit your head pretty hard too. We just need to make sure you're okay."

I snorted. "I've had worse. I'll just go home pop a few Tylenol and call it good."

Mr. Banner's eyes widened. "Does this happen often?"

"More than you would know," I muttered.

The ambulance arrived then. I rolled my eyes and tried to sit up when they came through, but again they told me not to move. "Seriously I'm fine. This is a little overkill don't you think. I mean you guys could totally be out doing something more productive with your time. I mean isn't there a little old lady that is lonely you could go rescue."

One of the paramedics actually had to cough down laugh. It made me wonder if that happened a lot. The paramedics took their places around me and started shining lights into my eyes, taking my blood pressure and really pissing me off. "Do you know your name?" one of them asked me.

Oh I had finally had it. He unleashed Rose Hathaway and there was no containing her now. "Santa clause," I replied.

Emmet snorted next to me and I could hear Alice sigh. "Rose, just answer the man's questions."

"Fine," I pouted. "Rosemarie Cullen," I said. That's the name we used when I enrolled. I was just another adopted member of the Cullen family.

"How old are you Ms. Cullen?"

"18"

"Do you know what happened?"

I couldn't help what came out of my mouth. It was too good to pass up. "Yes, a few years ago, my best friend back in Montana brought me back from the dead and now I am psychically bonded with her and when her emotions go haywire I get sucked into her head where I can see though her eyes feel what she feels and hear what she hears. Well today she was really upset because she wanted me to graduate with her, but obviously I can't because I'm here and she's there and she was really upset and I couldn't keep my barriers up any more even though I fought it all day and so I was finally sucked into her head and that's what happened."

Everyone that was in ear shot of what I had just said just looked at me. No one said a thing. I couldn't help bust smirk when I heard Edward and Alice both snicker. Emmett, Bella and Jasper just looked at them like they had lost their minds for laughing at what I had just said. I could tell they thought I hit my head way too hard and I was losing it.

"Okay," one of the EMT's said. "Let's get you the hospital shall we and get that head looked at." I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Yeah, okay," I said.

Emmett jumped in the back of the ambulance with me, which I must say actually surprised me a bit. He usually would have just well, gone home. "Rose, you really are something," he said stunning the crap out of me. He grabbed my hand and gave me the first genuine smile that I had ever gotten from him and it made my heart stutter. I had no idea why, but I felt all warm and cozy and …oh hell.

The tingly feeling in my heart, the blushed cheeks, the stupid grin…it only meant one thing; I liked Emmett. This big bear that had barley even acknowledged my presence in this family had somehow started to weasel his way into my heart.

Emmett followed me into my room when we got to the hospital, not letting go of my hand. He just smiled down at me not saying much of anything. We sat for a few minutes before he finally started to talk.

"So, what happened back there?" Emmett asked pulling me from my thoughts. "I mean, you just kind of went away for a while."

"Just what I told the EMT. All of it was true." I shrugged. "Lissa has been my best friend since kindergarten. I was meant to be her guardian, but well, things changed." I looked away as the tears started rolling down my cheeks. I didn't want him to see this part of me. I hated feeling week.

"Hey," he said wiping the tears from my face. "It's okay. Why don't you go back? I mean I can tell you love her a lot and they must miss you. I mean, I don't want you to go back…I would miss you too." He muttered the last part. "But, well, if you would be happier there, than we would all understand. They were your family first."

I shook my head. "I don't belong there anymore. My life is here with you guys. And as of next fall an official Husky." Emmett smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Listen Rose, I know there is part of your story that none of us know and I am not going to push you to tell it, but well, I don't want you to regret anything by staying here and away from them. Do they even know where you are?"

I shook my head again. "No, I don't want them to know. I can't go back. Not after what I did. Besides I found my place in this world."

Emmett sighed. "I hope in time you'll be able to tell me your story." He leaned over and kissed my forehead and wrapped me in a hug. "I just want you to be happy Rose."

"Emmett, I think you have a story to tell as well. Seems we both have a few ghosts we are hiding from. And I want to see more of that smile of yours. It's pretty sexy."

"Yeah, I know I'm pretty sexy," he said wriggling his eyes at me. I couldn't help but laugh and punch him in the shoulder.

"Now," I said. "Where the hell is Carlisle? I would like to get the hell out of here now."

And as on queue in walked Carlisle grinning. "Rose, you are always in such a hurry. You should slow down once in a while."

I snorted. "Yeah, your one to talk. Now, when can I get out of here? We have a graduation party tonight that I do not want to miss."

It took another few hours before he let me out of that place, but when I finally was release I was dancing my way out and singing at the top of my lungs "I'm free, oh yeah baby, I'm free…couldn't keep me down yeah baby I'm fee I'm free I'm free." Emmett was laughing at me and twirling me like a ballerina. I hate hospitals and I was really that happy that I was out of there.

On the car ride home Emmett laced his fingers with mine and kissed the back of my hand. "Rose, your right about my having ghosts. And I think it's time I told you." I could tell that this was going to be hard for him, but I really wanted to know. "Em, if you're not ready…"

"No, I need to tell you. I really like you Rose and I don't want you finding out about this later on and it hurting you. I don't want to ever hurt you."

I looked over at him and nodded my head. "Okay." I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell him my story yet. I was scared that once they knew what I had done they wouldn't want me around either. I knew my other family wouldn't, that's why I never went back. It was easier for me to stay away, but what about them? What would happen once I did tell them my story?

"Hey," Emmett said looking over at me. I could see concern painted across his face. "It's okay you know. Whatever your story is…it won't change how we feel about you, how I feel about you." I didn't say anything. I just nodded and looked out the window.

A few minutes later Emmett pulled the car into a parking lot. "Where are we?" I asked.

"I didn't want to tell you at home. I thought you might be hungry so we are having dinner while we talk."

"Oh, okay." I smiled when I noticed it was the outback Steak House. He knew me so well.

Always the gentlemen Emmett opened my door and led me into the restaurant and to a booth in the back. After we ordered Emmett smiled over at me. "So, I guess I should get on with it huh?"

"Emmett, you really don't have to do this. It's okay."

"No, Rose you need to know." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. "When I was in seventh grade I met Rosalie Hale. We became inseparable from the first day of school. She was my best friend. She was beautiful." Emmett opened his wallet and pulled out a picture of a beautiful blonde with blue eyes and the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

"All the other boys tried to woo her, but she would just punch them or push them into the locker. She had her eyes on someone else. By the time we were freshmen in high school we were the It couple. Everyone thought we would be together forever. Even our parents were pretty sure of it. I loved her more than anything. As soon as I turned sixteen we started going out ever Saturday night. It became our tradition to go to dinner and a movie in Port Angeles." Emmett smiled at the memory and I could tell he wasn't here, but reliving his time with Rosalie.

"It was just after school started last year. We were so excited to be upperclassmen; finally our time to shine. We had big plans, but she didn't live long enough for us to ever see those plans come true." Emmett let a single tear fall from his eye. I didn't bother to wipe it away. It needed to be shed. It had every right to be there. Emmett had lost love as well. I knew too well the pain of that loss.

"It was just after the movie that I noticed a really creepy guy watching us make our way out of the theater. I pulled Rose in closer and kissed her neck. I guess I was trying to show him who she belonged to. Rose just laughed and rolled her eyes. We were not far from the car when I felt Rose being pulled away from me. I turned only to see two red eyes staring back at me as he drug my Rose away. I screamed as loud as I could for help and started running, but I don't remember anything after that until I woke in the hospital days later. I was told that Rose was killed. Her throat had been ripped out. No one knows why I was spared. They all said that the perp was scared off before he could get to me." Emmett shook his head coming back to this time and place. Letting the memories be pushed back to the back of his mind. "I never wanted to feel again. I wanted to just die with her. She was it for me, or so I thought. Then you came into our lives and there was something about you that, I don't know. You just felt right and that scared me. I didn't want to let you in, but I couldn't help but to do just that. Rose, I don't think I can hold it back anymore."

He looked over at me with pleading eyes as I let my own tears fall. I felt guilty for not being here for him when he needed me. I could have killed the strigoi and protected him from his pain. "Em, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

Emmett grabbed my hands in his own. "Don't be sorry. Rose, you have started to heal me in ways I didn't think I would ever be healed again."

"Emmett, I think it's time for me to tell everyone my story."

We finished dinner in silence and left. I dreaded the conversation that was about to take place and silently sent a prayer to a God I wasn't even sure existed. I just wanted them to understand.

We got back to the house and Emmett got everyone assembled in the dining room. We sat for a few minutes everyone wondering what this was about. I didn't even try to keep it from Edward who kept quiet. I couldn't tell what the look on his face was and that brought the tears out again. Alice gasped and I knew she had a vision on what I was going to tell everyone. Well, at least that's two people who already knew. I might as well get it over with.

"I need to tell you my story," I said not looking at anyone. Alice grabbed my hand and nodded with a sad smile.

"Almost three years ago my best friend Lissa and I ran away from the school we attended in Montana. There were some strange things going on and I needed to protect her. No one else could so we ran. We were gone two years when the academy finally caught up with us. That's when I met Dimitri Belikov. He brought us back to the academy and when they were about to throw me out for taking off with the Dragomir princess he stood up for me. He became my mentor and eventually we fell in love. When I thought I was going insane because of the darkness I was taking from Lissa he was there to save me. He saved me in more ways than I could even begin to tell you. No one knew about our relationship. Not only was he my mentor and seven years my senior, but two Dhampir getting together was a scandal. It was late April when the academy was attacked. Dimitri and I were headed back to campus from one of the outpost cabins on the outskirts of the academy. That's when I found out that I can sense Strigoi before I can see them. I got sick to my stomach. That's when the first one attacked. Dimitri told me to run. I ran faster than I had ever run in my life." I couldn't stop the memories from playing like a movie in my mind. The tears were running down my cheeks hot and unstoppable. The others stayed quiet as I told my story. No one asked questions.

"The attack would have been a lot worse if we hadn't been out there, but it was still too much. I fought alongside Lissa's boyfriend who was a fire wielding Moroi. It was amazing what we accomplished. Most of the kills made that night were our kills. When the sun came up the next morning I found out my best friend Eddie had been taken. I feared for him. So I went outside of the wards and dropped my guards allowing the spirits to come forth, but I just needed Mason. He told me that there were survivors and Eddie was ok. I had to get him. With Masons help and the help of an army of guardians and a few fire using Moroi we launched our rescue mission. We fought harder than possible killing all that got in our way. When we retreated I went first with a few others and Dimitri, my mom and a few other guardians came behind us. I made it out along with everyone else with me. The second group had almost made it out when they were attacked by a group of strigoi that were waiting for us. They took Dimitri."

I couldn't help the sobs that shook through my body. The memories were more painful than I ever thought possible.

"They told me he was dead, but I knew he wasn't. He had been turned into one of them, a monster of the night. He had lost his soul and I was going to save him.

On my eighteenth birthday I left everyone behind. I didn't say goodbye. I just left. Adrian was the only one who knew I was leaving. He gave me the money to fund my trip with the promise that I would return once I completed my mission. He in turn promised not to tell anyone about what I set out to do.

I made my way to Russia where I met his family. They were amazing and then I had to leave them too without saying goodbye. I guess it was becoming a habit to just leave, but I had too. I finally had a clue to where he was and I was right. I was out hunting one night and he found me. I hesitated and he was able to knock me unconscious. Over the next several weeks he tried to talk me into becoming one of them. He told me that we could be together forever and that we would never have to worry about anything. He turned me into a blood whore. I let him bite me. I craved his bite. I needed it. Twice a day he would drink from me. I was so close to agreeing to let him turn me. My only saving grace was that one day he didn't come and I got out of my strigoi bite haze long enough to realize what I was about to do. I needed to get out. So for days I asked him questions and acted like I was tired and would pretend to fall asleep so he wouldn't bite me.

One day I attacked the girl that brought my food and was able to make it out of the room and find a weapon. I don't know how I did it, but I found my way outside and ran towards the lights on the horizon. I was so hopeful that I was going to make it. Then I heard him calling for me. I ran faster, but strigoi are so fast and in my state I knew I wouldn't make it. So I waited for him. He didn't know I had a weapon. It was my only hope. I made him think that I wanted to give up. That I was going to turn and stay with him forever. I told him I would always love him and then I staked him. For a split moment before he died I had my Dimitri back; the man that I had fallen in love with. The last words he said were "I'll love you forever my Roza." I watched him die by my hand. God I killed him. I killed the person I loved more than anything in the world."

Tears and sobs rocked my body and the pain was so much that crumpled over on the floor. I rocked back and forth squeezing my eyes shut trying to erase the images that flashed through my mind. I tried to make the thoughts of having to leave these people I had grown to love so much, of them hating me for what I almost became, for what I allowed Dimitri to do to me. It was all too much.

"Rose," Edward said. "Why would you think we would want you to leave? You didn't do any of that on purpose. Dimitri is the one who hooked you on the bite; it was the bite that made you want to join him. You were not in your right mind then."

"God, I killed him." I screamed. "Emmett I'm so sorry I wasn't here to protect Rosalie. I'm so sorry I couldn't save her. I'm so sorry for everything."

"Rose, I don't blame you. I didn't even…no; you can't do this to yourself. Rosalie dying had nothing to do with you being here or not. It could have happened weather you were here or not. Don't blame yourself. God Rose, please don't blame yourself. Not for any of this. And we don't want you to leave. We want you to stay…I want you to stay."

Emmett picked me up and carried me to my room. He laid me on my bed and curled up next to me and held me tight. "Rose, I can't lose you to. It would be too much."

"I'm too broken Emmett. I don't think I can be fixed," I sniffled trying to pull away from him.

"You're beautiful Rose. And in time I think you can be fixed. I want to be there for you to help you. I want to fix you Rose. Let me help you like you helped me."

I didn't say anything I just cried until sleep took me and the nightmares began.

The next morning Emmett was still holding me. I couldn't help but wonder why he wanted to help someone so broken; someone who had done horrible things and almost willingly became what had killed the love of his life. I sighed away the tears that were trying to break free again and carefully untangled myself from Emmett's arms. I sat in the shower and let the hot water wash away all of the pain. I needed to move on and try. It's what Dimitri would have wanted.

Over the next several months we all got closer. I was truly letting them in as a family and loved them so much. Alice liked the fact that I shopped as much as she did and Emmett grumbled about it, but he would occasionally tag along just to be closer to me. Jasper was the one who I went to for advice. He could always calm me down and help me see reason when I couldn't do it on my own. Edward was the protective big brother. He was always there for me. He also loved the fact that I wanted to learn about music and that I continued to go to him to learn. I could actually play the piano well now and I could read music. Bella was my other sister who I loved to tease. Alice and I would drag her shopping with us for hours and enjoyed every minute of her suffering.

"So?" Alice asked.

"So what?"

"You and Emmett are getting pretty close. What's going on? I mean when you move to Seattle am I going to have to buy poor Jasper earplugs?"

"Alice!" I screeched. "First of all we are not there. And well," I couldn't keep the smile off my face which made Alice squeal and jump up and down like a two year old on Christmas

"I knew it, you love him."

I just smile and bit my bottom lip. "Yeah, I think I do. I'm scared Alice. I never thought I would feel something think this again. Not so soon. Hell I never thought I would love ever again. What am I going to do?"

"You're going to tell him," She said.

"Alice, I can't. I'm not ready for that yet and I don't think he is either. Besides I'm scare about what will happen in Seattle. What if I tell him and he doesn't love me back and then I'm going to be stuck sharing an apartment with him and it will be really awkward."

"Rose, trust me when I tell you that he feels the same way. I never thought I would see him happy again. You have done so much for him. I love you so much for that."

I smiled back at her. "Like you didn't know this was going to happen."

"I may have had an idea," she said smirking.

"Alice, I'm going to miss you all so much. I know I'll see you every weekend, but still it won't be the same."

"Well, then I guess we are just going to have an all girls week next week, no boys. And the following week we will all go to Seattle and get you settled in."

"That sounds really nice."

The next week was filled with shopping and the spa and movies and everything girly. Alice, Bella, Esme and I had so much fun. I don't think I laughed so hard in my life. Then it came time for the big move.

"You have to call me every day," Alice said. "Twice a day if something happens. And remember to have fun. It is college after all."

"She better not have too much fun," Edward shouted. "I better not get any calls saying you got in trouble."

"Don't worry, brother of mine. I've got Jasper and Emmett to keep me safe and next year you will be with us and everything will be back in order."

Alice, Bella and I all hugged like it would be the last time we would ever see each other. The boys all laughed at us. Edward had to end up pulling us apart so they could hit the road. Alice gave Jasper one last kiss and they were off.

"FREEDOM!" Emmett bellowed. "So, what should we do first?"

"Emmett, I would say finish unpacking and then grocery shopping, but since I love ya so much, how about we order pizza hook up the 360 and have some fun."

Emmett froze and stared at me for a second. It took me a moment to realize what I had just said.

"Oh shit Emmett, I-"

"Do you?" he asked.

I stared at him for what seemed like forever. I did love him, but was I ready to admit that to him? I had just told him for the first time in any form that I did and it was not how I wanted to do it. In fact I didn't want to be the one who did it first.

"Emmett, I…yeah, I do." I turned away not wanting to see his reaction. I know that Alice said he did and who was I to bet against her…she was the clairvoyant for goodness sakes, but I was scared to give my heart away again.

I felt Emmett's arms wrap around my waist and pull me back into him. He nuzzled his nose into my hair and breathed in deep. "You have no idea how much I love you and how happy you just made me."

I turned around to look him in the eyes and couldn't help but smile because I could see it. His eyes filled with so much love it was overwhelming. He cupped my face with his hands and pulled me in for a kiss. It was deep and passionate, but soft all at the same time. Our first kiss and it was perfect. Of course it was interrupted by Emmett's cell phone going off.

"Tell Alice, I'm going to kick her butt next weekend," I said as I pulled away to go order the pizza.

I heard Emmett laugh and couldn't help but smile. I really did love that bear of a man.

Over the next few days we got settled into our new place and explored our new home. I was loving Seattle and couldn't wait for classes to start. Emmett and I had just finished up at the book store and were on our way to meet Jasper for lunch when Emmett picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"Emmett," I screeched. "Put me down right now or I will kick your butt."

He spun me around and put me down only to have me stumble into his arms.

"It's a good think I like you so much, or I would have to kick your ass for that buddy."

"Yeah, I think you more than like me… I think you worship me."

"I wouldn't go that-"

"Rose?" I heard coming from behind me. I froze and my body went rigid. It couldn't be. She isn't supposed to be here. Emmett got worried and looked in the direction my name was being called.

"Rose, is that you?" I shook my head.

"No, I have to get out of here. Emmett I have to get out of here." I couldn't breathe and the world was beginning to spin around me. How did they find me?

"Dear God Rose."

Shit, are they all here? I turned around slowly tears streaming down my face.

"Rose!" Lissa screamed and threw herself into my arms pulling us both to the ground in a heap of tears.

"Lissa, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Defying the queen and doing what I want for once. What the hell are you doing here? Why didn't you come back? Why did you leave me?"

She spat questions at me faster than I could comprehend. I shook my head trying to get a grasp on what was happening. I looked up to see a stunned Eddie, Emmett, Adrian, Stan, Alberta and a few guardians I didn't recognize.

"Where you guys looking for me?" I asked pulling Lissa off the ground.

"No, I literally picked a school by throwing a dart at a list I had made and decided that was where I was going. I guess fate knew where to find you."

Eddie gave me a lopsided smile and hugged me, but didn't say anything. Stan and Alberta were both stunned. "Everyone thought you were dead," Alberta said. "We got word that you had killed Belikov, but when you didn't return we all thought…"

"No, I wasn't killed. I just, I couldn't go back."

"Rosemarie Hathaway," Stan said. "I think we should take this somewhere and have a chat. There are going to be a lot of questions you will need to answer and people are going to want your statement on where you have been for the past six months."

"Oh God, Emmett." I said turning to him. "Emmett, this is Lissa. The one I told you about and Eddie, I told you about him as well and they are Guardians Alto and Petrov." I pointed everyone out to him. "I don't know who they are sorry…and everyone, this is Emmett. He saved me from myself." I couldn't help but smile at him when he leaned down to kiss me.

"We were just heading to meet our brother Jasper for lunch. Would you all like to join us?" Emmet asked.

"Rose," Adrian said stepping forward. I was really scared at what he might say, but he just pulled me into a hug. "Your aura is brighter than I have ever seen it. I'm so happy you have found love again."

And queue the water works. Damn me and the tear factory going on lately. I pulled away crying and smiling. I knew I missed them, but how much I had missed them, words could not even begin to describe.

"Well then, the great Hathaway cries," Eddie said lightly punching my shoulder.

"You better watch it Castile, I didn't slack off on my training while I've been gone."

We met Jasper at the restaurant, went through the introductions and shock of everything again and spend over six hours talking and catching up. I was astonished that none of them were mad at me. They missed me and just wanted me to be okay and hoped one day that I would make my way back to them.

"There is still so much I want to talk about," Lissa said. "I know you don't want to be a guardian anymore and I'm okay with that. Just promise me you won't ever take off like that again. Your more to me than just a guardian. You're my best friend and my sister." She pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. "Call me soon."

"Liss, how about lunch tomorrow? My last class gets out at one. Would you like to meet after?"

She grinned and nodded. "Yeah, I do. I'll see you tomorrow." With that we all said our goodbyes and went our own ways.

That night I was anxious to talk to Lissa again. I had missed her so much and here she was. I could feel the bond again. It tingled through my entire body.

"Rose," Emmett said pulling me if for a kiss. "You seem happy."

"I am," I replied. "I didn't realize how much I needed her in my life."

Emmett pulled away from me with a pained expression on his face. I knew what he was thinking. "Emmett love, I am not going to be her guardian. Not now, not ever. You are where I belong. I have chosen my path and it's with you. I'm not a guardian; I have no future as one. You are my future." I stood on my toes and kissed his jaw.

"I love you Rose."

"I love you too baby. Now if you want spaghetti for dinner you had better get out of my hair so I don't burn it."

The next day I could hardly wait to talk to Lissa again. I had so much I wanted to talk to her about. It didn't even register yesterday that Christian wasn't with her. After my last class I finally made my way to the campus café and waited for her to arrive. A few minutes later I saw the entire mob heading my way. Lissa ran ahead of me and pulled me into a hug.

"You came," she sighed.

"I'm never going to leave you without word again Liss. I'm so sorry."

"I know, and I'm sorry too Rose. Now let's go eat and talk some more."

Everyone followed us in and we took our seats pushing five tables together so we could all talk. It reminded me so much of being back at the academy and I couldn't help the grin.

"So where's Christian?" I asked

"Oh he and Mia are meeting us here in a few minutes. They have no idea that you are here so just play cool and let them freak out a bit."

"Mia is here too?" I was really happy now. Minus Mason and Dimitri our group was in tacked. We had all found our way back to each other somehow and this time I wasn't going to let that go again.

"Okay," Lissa said with a grin. "Are you up for having a little fun?"

I laughed and nodded. "You know me I'm always up for scaring poor unsuspecting people."

A few minutes later I saw them walk in and had to hold back from tackling them with hugs and apologies. They took a seat at the table and said their hellos not noticing me at first. Mia saw me first and nearly flung herself down the table and enveloped me into a hug. "Rose my god," she said. "You're not dead. How are you not dead? How are you here?"

I smiled and hugged her hard. "I missed you too Mia."

I looked over at Christian who looked pissed. I could see him clenching and unclenching his jaw. Lissa placed her hand on his shoulder. "It's okay," she whispered.

"It sure as hell is not okay Lissa," he shouted. "She takes off without so much as a word, making us all think she is dead and now she turns up after all this time. In Seattle of all places…the one place we thought we could get away from the reminders of Rose, the one place we thought we could start over. So no, it is not okay!"

He turned his attention back to me. "So Rose, how long are you going to stick around this time? How soon do you think it will be before you disappear without so much as a word leaving us all to wonder and worry?"

"Christian!" Lissa scolded. "That's enough."

"No, Lissa. It's okay," I said. "Let him say his piece. I disserve whatever it is he needs to say. He's right."

"I'm done here," he said getting up to leave. "Lissa, I'll see you when you are done." I watched as he and his guardians left the building feeling so guilty I felt like I would be sick.

"I think it's time you all hear what happened after I left."

"Rose," Lissa said grabbing my hand. "You don't have to tell us anything. What happened when you left is your story to tell when you are ready. He is mad and hurt, but he will get over it."

"No Liss, you need to know. You all need to hear this. How about dinner at my place tonight at six?"

Everyone nodded their agreements to meet, but didn't say a word. I think they knew what I had to say was not going to be easy for any of us.

I walked home lost in my thoughts and fears. I had my family back…new and old. I knew my new family stuck by me, but I wasn't so sure if my old family would. Now that I had them back I wasn't sure I could live without them again.

I sat down in front of my computer determined to concentrate on my homework and get my mind away from pain that was trying to take me over. It didn't work well. I ended up just staring at the computer screen until the boys came home.

"Hey," Emmett shouted. "Alice called. She says to calm the hell down everything will be okay and to order pizza for dinner. She also said not to piss the emo boy off because that could be bad…but I think that was more for me than you."

I couldn't help but laugh. God I loved that girl. "Did she have anything else to say?"

"Yeah, she said that she will see us this weekend and she can't wait to meet the new additions to the family."

"She what?"

"Don't ask me. She wants you to call her after everyone leaves tonight."

"Okay…hey will you and Jasper run out and get chips and drinks for tonight?"

"Sure thing babe. I love you."

"I love you too." I stood on my toes and kissed his jaw before he walked out.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Lissa gave me a hug and walked in followed by Christian, Mia, Adrian, Eddie, Stan, Alberta and four other guardians I didn't know. If things went well I was going to have to ask who the hell they were.

"Is that everyone?" I asked grinning.

"No," I turned to see my mom walk through the door.

"Mom?"

"Yes Rosemarie," she said. "You think that I wouldn't come to see with my own eyes that my daughter was actually alive?"

"No, I guess not, but I'm glad you're here."

"Rose, you have no idea how scared I was when you took off. We kept getting word from the alchemists about how deadly you had become. The guardian council offered to bring you back. They said you were too valuable to lose, but I told them to let you finish what you had set off to do. I knew that if we brought you back you would just take off again. But after we found out you had killed Belikov and didn't return we sent out search parties for you. We looked around the world, but it was like you had disappeared. Everyone had assumed you were dead or turned. I thought I had lost you Rose."

And then my mother did something I didn't know she was capable of…she cried. I held her tight and letting her cry into my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry mom. I just couldn't go back. Not after what I had done, what I became. I knew you guys wouldn't want me anymore. It was just easier not to return."

At that moment I heard glass breaking and someone screaming like a girl from my entry way. We all rushed out to see that two of the guardians I didn't know had tackled Jasper and Emmett and had them in a choke hold.

"What the fuck dude?" Jasper yelled.

"We live here you ass," Emmett said trying to wiggle out of a hold I knew he would not be able to get out of. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight.

"Guys, you can let them up," I said. "They live here too."

The guardians let them up and apologized but Emmett and Jasper just scowled at them.

"Hey babe?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can you do that shit too?"

"Yes," I laughed walking back into the living room with everyone else.

"That's hot babe."

We all got settled again and soon everyone was looking expectantly at me. I sighed and looked around at my family hoping that I wouldn't lose them.

"Rose, it's okay," Lissa said grabbing my hand. I nodded and took another deep breath. I then began my story. I told them about the alchemists and Dimitri's family. I told them about the rouge Dhampir and how they helped me find Dimitri. I then told them about my capture and how I turned into a blood whore and that Dimitri had nearly convinced me to turn into a monster and be by his side forever. I told them how I was able to escape and then kill the man I loved. I then told them about Alice and the rest of the Cullen's and how they took me in and helped me. I even told them how Emmett saved me from myself and taught me to love again. I told them everything. I didn't leave anything out.

By the time I was done telling my story Lissa and Mia were sobbing. I even saw a tear escape from my mother's eyes and Alberta as well. Christian, Adrian and Eddie looked as though they were in pain. Even the guardians I didn't know couldn't keep their masks up. They looked angry and in awe. I had to look away. "That's why I couldn't go back," I said. "I turned into a disgrace and almost willingly turned into what we give our lives to fight against." I got up and walked out to my balcony hot tears streaming down my face. I didn't want to hear what came next. I didn't want to hear them tell me how disgusted they were in me.

"Rose, I'm so sorry." I turned to see the pained eyes of Christian looking back at me. "You are not a disgrace. And we are not going to walk out on you. Not now not ever. I am so sorry for what I said to you earlier. If I had any idea…I'm just so sorry. Do you think you can ever forgive me?"

"Do you think you could ever forgive me?" I asked

"Oh Rose, there is nothing to forgive."

Christian pulled me into a tight hug and I let the sobs free. We stood there for several minutes before pulling apart to Emmett clearing his throat.

"Dude, you better not be putting the moves on my girl. I just might have to kick your ass."

Christian laughed and lit balls of blue flames in the palms of his hands. "I'd like to see you try," he said.

I walked back into the apartment to be enveloped by Lissa in a huge hug. "I am so sorry for what you have been through. I wish I could have been there for you. I wish I could have been the one for you to cry on, but Emmett seems like a good guy and I'm happy you found him."

I nodded and wiped the tears from her beautiful face. "Lissa I have missed you so much. And I love you so much and I am so sorry that I didn't go back. I'm so sorry that I didn't graduate and become your guardian."

"It's never too late," my mom said looking over at me.

"What do you mean? I didn't graduate."

"Well, you could go back and take your trials. That's all you need to get your promise mark," she said.

I looked over to see Emmett's beautiful face fall into sorrow and Jasper biting his bottom lip. I smiled over at them and shook my head.

"No, I can't. I don't belong in there anymore. This is my future…here with the man I love and all of my family. I will guard them without my mark."

To my surprise and shock my mother smiled at me and nodded. "Rose, as long as you are happy, I don't care what you do. Just don't ever do that to me again."

"Don't do that to any of us," Adrian corrected.

"I couldn't leave you even if I wanted to."

I looked around as my new and old family sat around talking with one another. My heart soared knowing that everything would be okay. Everyone was okay with what had happened while I was away and respected my wishes not to get my promise mark. I couldn't help but smile at them.

"Looks like Alice was right again," Emmett said pulling me to him and kissing my head.

"She always is," I said. "I just can't wait for the rest of them to meet her and start making bets against her. That is going to be fun."

"You know, I think she and Lissa are going to get along great."

"Yeah me too, and as long as shopping isn't involved I think Bella is going to fit right in too."

"Well, of course we are all going to fit in together. We're all going to be family." I smiled as Alice, Bella and Edward walking into the apartment. I threw my arms around them and squeezed. "You guys aren't supposed to be here until tomorrow," I said.

"We couldn't wait to meet your blast from the past. As soon I saw what was going to happen, we jumped in the car and headed out."

I couldn't keep the smile from my face. I had everything. I pulled the others into the room and quickly made introductions. Soon everyone was sitting around getting to know each other. I was right about Lissa, Bella and Alice getting along. Lissa and Alice were already planning a shopping trip for the following day and Bella was groaning at the agony that was shopping. Edward was talking with Eddie about music and how I had actually learned to play an instrument. My mother was speaking with Emmett and from the terrified look on his face, I'm pretty sure she was threatening him within an inch of his life. I had to smile at the mental picture that was my five foot one mother taking down my six foot five boyfriend.

Everyone started filling out at around two in the morning. "I'll see you tomorrow Liss," I said hugging her tight.

"I wouldn't miss it. See you tomorrow."

After everyone was gone my new family sat in the living room talking for a while.

"I like them," Jasper said.

"I'm glad you do, because I hope that they become a huge part of our lives," I said.

"Oh they will," Alice said grinning. "You know that Adrian and Mia are a couple right?"

"What?" I screeched. "They are not."

"Oh yes they are. Wedding invitations will go out in one year."

"Well, that's great," I said snuggling into Emmett. "He deserves to be happy."

"Oh and mom and dad are moving to settle next year when we come. Dad accepted an offer at Seattle Grace. So it looks like we are all going to be together."

I grinned over at Alice. "Forever, if I have anything to do with it."

Over the next seven years we did become one big happy family. Jasper and Alice got married as did Bella and Edward. Mia and Adrian are getting ready to have their first baby. Alice says it's a girl, but we won't tell Mia, she wants it to be a surprise. Emmett talked me into getting my promise mark even though I won't be a guardian. He says it's who I am and he would never want to take that from me. I think I fell even more in love with him if that was even possible. Christian and Lissa are still happily in love. They surprised us all by eloping in Vegas over Christmas break our first year at UW. They just called us all and told us to be ready to leave the following morning. I was so proud of her for going against the grain. Made me think I rubbed off on her a little. Eddie fell in love with a human who was pretty awesome about the whole vampires exist thing. They got married last year. He still guards Lissa and his bride is awesome with it. My mom and I are closer than ever. She asked to be reassigned to be Lissa's third guardian and was approved. Stan and Alberta also ended up married. Shocker, yes, yes it was. I didn't think Stan knew how to love. I was pretty sure that his heart was about as dead as a strigoi… who knew?

As for Emmett and I, we have been married for two years now. We still live in Seattle with everyone else. Yup, that's right we all stayed in Seattle. We have had few encounters with Strigoi over the years, but nothing we couldn't handle.

After I graduated with my degree in business Alice, Bella, Mia, Lissa and I opened a clothing store called Pixie Perfect that has been doing amazing. Alice and Lissa design our entire collection. Bella deals with the internet and advertising. Last spring we opened a second store in LA that is huge with the stars. We couldn't be happier. Mia has decided to design a line of maternity clothes that we will launch after the New Year. And as for me, well, I deal with running the business. I get to be the boss and make sure everything runs smoothly. I love it.

Emmett, Edward, Jasper, Christian and Adrian opened a bar called New Moon. It took off. They ended up having to hire about ten employees after the first year and another fifteen after the second. They are now in the works to open another in Tacoma set to open summer of next year. I help out when I can as does everyone else.

Esme and Carlisle invested in both the store and the bar and have since retired. They are enjoying their time traveling and visit often. They told us when we start having grandbabies that they will move back full time. I'm happy to say they will probably be moving home sooner than they thought.

I found out two days ago that I am expecting. We aren't quite sure how it happened, but it's probably part of being shadow kissed. None the less we are all excited and can't wait for our little miracle to arrive.

If you would have asked me seven years ago if I thought my life would turn out like it did, I would have laughed. I never thought I could have all the happiness that I have. I never thought I would feel complete and be accepted even though I didn't become a guardian. My family has been my everything. We live apart from much of our world and we are happy with that. Eventually we will go back because we have to. We all agreed that once our children were of age they would go to St. Vladimir's to learn about our world and how to survive. But they will also know they have a choice in what they want with their lives. Until then though, we live day to day as one big happy family.

**THE END**


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